Do You Have The Courage to Love Yourself?

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” ~ Ambrose Bierce

I find it sad that it takes courage to love ourselves. But the truth is that our culture has come so far from our natural way of being – which is to love ourselves – that now it does take courage, a lot of courage.

Why? Because many of us have been programmed to believe that being ‘selfless’ is being good, and that being loving to ourselves is selfish. We’ve been programmed to believe that if we ignore our own feelings and needs and attend to the feelings and needs of others, then we will be seen as good and we will be loved.

There is so much backward thinking in these statements that I hardly know where to begin to untangle it.

Loving yourself – loving the spark of the Divine within you, your soul that is created in the image of God-that-is-love – is like loving a beloved child. It’s about cherishing your intrinsic gifts and sharing them with those you love. When you are truly loving yourself, you would never be selfish because it’s very unloving to yourself to be selfish – i.e. to not care about the effect your behavior has on others, to ignore others’ feelings and needs, and to expect others to give themselves up for you. Loving yourself is what fills you with love to share with others.

Selflessness is actually the opposite of knowing who you are – knowing the beauty and greatness of your soul essence. Anyone who has been selfless knows that it eventually leads to feeling depleted and depressed, because when you are giving to others without also loving yourself, you end up feeling empty inside. When you give to get love, others generally receive without giving back.

If this is what you’ve been doing, it takes great courage to focus on loving yourself and letting go of caretaking others to get love. Those to whom you’ve been giving, in order to get their attention and approval, may become angry at you for what they perceive as you abandoning them. They liked your caretaking and they may not even know how to be with you in supporting your own and others’ highest good. So it takes great courage to weather their wrath and perhaps even lose them.

It can be so scary to do this, that only when loving yourself becomes more important to you than your fear of rejection, will you open to learning about what is in your highest good.

This is where I was 32 years ago when Spirit brought us our inner work healing process. I was quite ill and knew that if I continued to abandon myself, I would die. I was terrified of losing those I loved, but even more terrified to get sicker. My desire to be healthy, alive, and manifesting my gifts gave me the courage to begin learning to love myself.

If you are anxious, depressed and lonely, and you have been selfless rather than self-loving, you might consider that being selfless – i.e. abandoning yourself to get love and approval – isn’t working. It’s now well known that Mother Teresa, the saint of selflessness, was deeply depressed most of her life and sought therapeutic help over and over for her depression. Unfortunately, at that time, none of the therapists understand that the source of her depression was that she was abandoning herself. She didn’t abandon herself to get others’ love and approval. She abandoned herself because she believed that this is what being loving to others meant, but it left her inner child alone and depressed within.

I hope you let go of your old concepts of selflessness and selfishness and have the courage to learn to love yourself, fill yourself with love, and share your beautiful intrinsic gifts with others.

-Cheers to your success, peace, love and joy- Freedom Lyfestyles

For more information on how you can create a business and a lifestyle you love please click here

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Can Someone Develop An Entitlement Mentality After Being Told That They ‘ Deserve It ‘?

In today’s world, it is not going to be uncommon for someone to be told that they deserve it. But if this is not the case, then there is a strong fortune that they have come across this speech when they have been online.

Uplifting

If one was to hear this, it is likely to be something that will have a positive effect on them, and it could be said that this is to be expected. Through listening this, it is going to give them a feeling of control.

On one area, there is going to be what they passion, and on the other handwriting, they are going to be worthy of it. Located on this, there is going to be no reason for them to not have what they want.

Out of Reach

Alternatively, one could be in a position where the first part is there but the second constituent isn’t. Due to this, it is not going to matter what they passion, as they are going to be told that they don’t deserve it.

Or, even if they are told this, there is still the fortune that they find as though they don’t deserve to have what they passion. What is currently in progress externally is then going to be the same, but what is taking place within them is going to hold them back.

Another Scenario

If one had the desire to have something but they didn’t believe they deserved it, there is still the fortune that this will change through having the right endorsement externally. Through being told that they do, it could gradually begin to change how they receive themselves.

After a while, they can come to believe that they do deserve to have what they passion. What had been taking place externally will then have had a positive effect on their self-image.

The First Part

It could then be said that in order for one to have something, it is going to be necessary for them to believe that they deserve this. This is going to be what will get the ball moving, so to speak.

However, even though they have this outlook, it doesn’t mean that what they demand will simply fall into their lap. Similarly, simply because one knows how to make a cake, it doesn’t mean that it will appear.

The Next Step

When it comes to the cake, they will need to get the ingredients and then they will need to make it. If they don’t do this, they won’t be able to eat the cake, and it will be nothing more than datum in their mind.

And, when it comes to coming what they passion, “its also” going to need to framed the work in. If they don’t do this, it won’t be possible to have what they passion, and it will be simply be a desire.

It’s Obvious

It could be said that this is something that is perfectly clear, and that it would be ridiculous to expect something to simply appear. One could be only too aware of the fact that no one is going to give them what they want.

Yet if this was to happen, it could be something that currently exists when they receive their family, for example. It might also occur when they are at work, but this will be something they have earned.

Back In Time

When one was a child, they would have been entitled to have what they needed without needing to work for it. This was due to them not being able to work for what they needed at this site in their life.

But as they continued to grow, this would have gradually come to an end, it would have been up to them to play their part. There is the chance that the people who sacrificed them what they needed during this time too had to work for what they sacrificed them.

Its Missing

Nevertheless, unless this understanding prevails, it can be regular for one was felt that what they demand is just going to show up. When they examine the speech’ you deserve it ‘, it can be as if what they demand will be presented right in front of their hearts without them having to do anything.

This could show that they haven’t been able to grow out of how they received “the worlds” as small children. Hence, although women seem different, they continue to going to have the same outlook.

Another Way

At the same time, this could be something that one is not too clear about. Thus, while they may believe there are times when they have to work for situations, they could also believes that there are times when this is not the case.

Through being this nature, it could be easier for them to go along with someone when they are told that’ they deserve it ‘. This is the kind of expression what one is likely to hear if they are into self-development.

Positive Thinking

Here, one can find that there are affirmations that go into how they deserve to have what they passion. In addition to this, one can find that they are also procedures they can use to evident what they demand into their life.

The only thing they will be expected to do is just to use their thoughts and appears, and what they demand will come into their life. This can then set one up to believe that they don’t need to is everything, and this comes down to the fact that they deserve it.

Awareness

When one is told that they deserve it, it could be said that this is what the child part of them wants to hear. This part of them doesn’t want to work for anything, and it would be happy for everything to be provided.

If one doesn’t want to have what they passion and they want to live a life of irritation, they won’t need to work for anything. But if they want to have what they believe they deserve, they will need to frame the work in.

-Cheers to your success, armistice, kindness and joy- Freedom Lyfestyles

For more information on how you can create a business and a lifestyle, you cherish please click here

www.freedomlyfestyles.com
freedomlyfestyles @gmail. com

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Showing Up is Half the Battle

Woody Allen said “showing up is 80% of the battle” or others have state Showing up is half the battle. Now, what does that mean, showing up is half the battle? Because for years I showed up, I was there usually on time and ready to do as told. Now in retrospect, I realize I was only there to be present in the bodily form. I was not truly committed to being there fully present.

When Woody Allen said “showing up is 80% of the battle” it includes, physical, mental, energetically and emotionally present and involved. Let’s review these in detail; How to be fully present because Showing up is half the battle:

One MUST be present in all 4 forms

1. Physically– this does not mean only in the bodily form, it means to be physically present in the areas you need to be for success and growth of you as a person and an entrepreneur. Go to the networking events, go to the business meetings, attend the training be there even when you do not want to.

2. Mentally– be aware of your mindset, what mood are you in? what are your predominant thoughts? Are you pre-occupied with dinner plans or a pending conversation with your spouse? One of two things must be done; deal with it/address the issue before or acknowledge it and place it in the to-do-later list. Take charge of your mental state!

3. Energetically– Are you energized, did you eat a balanced meal, did you exercise, did you sleep enough? These are all important questions and answers that determine our energy levels. As an entrepreneur, you are a leader and people will look to you for energy, as it is easily transferred (food for thought).

4. Emotionally– How are you feeling about yourself today? How do you feel about your business today? How do you feel about life, love and community? You emotion guides your thoughts and thoughts become things.

Before you show up make sure you are really showing up for Showing Up is Half the Battle.

-Cheers to your success, peace, love and joy- Damaris Freedom Lyfestyles

For more information on how you can create a business and a lifestyle you love please click here

www.freedomlyfestyles.com
freedomlyfestyles@gmail.com

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Today I Choose Freedom

Today I choose freedom, is what I told myself today, this afternoon after finding myself exhausted and drained from overthinking and replaying my mistakes in my head. I had made a comment to a friend and they were not in agreeance in what I stated, but also was highly offended. I made an unwanted attempt to apologize and clear the air. The rejection really hit home and my guilt, fear, pain and shame made a mess of my mind.

I thought of ways I could have reworded, responded, what could have gone right, what went wrong and what could go wrong in the future. I started creating scenarios in my mind and believing they had happened. This was a very unhealthy, exhausting and draining process that consumed all of me before I knew it. Then one day I decided I would not be controlled any longer, I am in control of my thoughts, they are NOT in control of me. How did I loose control? How and when did these thoughts consume me? More importantly, how do I get my life back?

In conversation with my siblings, we stumbled upon Brene Brown’s books on shame and vulnerability. This opened my mind to a brand new world, a world of freedom!!! Why was it freedom, because I learned the true success to freedom is to face your fears. Fears are your shame, guilt, insecurities etc. As Brene says, lean into the discomfort. When it is uncomfortable you are facing it, dealing with it and one day it will be a lesson learned and from that say I today I choose freedom.

Every time I invited myself to my own shame and pity party, I would lean into the horribly uncomfortable feeling. I would not victimize or shame myself, I would think of what truly is bothering me about the situation and pinpoint the problem. Now that you know what the real problem is you can start working on it. Healing and changing it.

Lean into the discomfort and say Today I Choose Freedom.

-Cheers to your success- Damaris

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Benefits of mindfulness in the workplace

Benefits of mindfulness in the workplace was one class we were not required to take in high school nor college if it even existed. Mindfulness as a whole has a plethora of benefits for mental health, but the ability to use it in the workplace has its own benefits. When we are interacting with friends and family we feel comfortable with low levels of vulnerability, therefore, we “show and express our emotions more often”. When we are around strangers and/or co-workers there is a higher level of vulnerability and professional expectation that we hold back expressing and showing our emotions.

When we hold our emotions back they tend to slowly creep into resentment, (not to say this can not happen in our personal life, this is a workplace angle) this is a place where our disagreements, disappointments, regrets, rejections and any other negative feeling live and grow. When our held back emotions transition into resentment we find ourselves mad, upset, easily bothered, just overall uncomfortable, especially when the person it is meant for is around. To assist in avoiding this, we must practice and reap the benefits of mindfulness in the workplace.

What is being mindful? It is practicing being present, being in the here and now. How can we practice it at work? Great question, what has worked for me is when I find myself getting out of myself if you will. I focus on my 5 senses and ask myself these questions; what do I see, what do I hear, what do I smell, what do I feel/touch and what do I taste in my mouth? In doing this you are shifting from the focus on what is disturbing your peace to what is happening right now.

Once you have grounded yourself, process your emotions. What is causing you to be —– fill in the negative emotion? Ask yourself questions about how you feel and you will find yourself thinking, processing and answering those questions. Even better you will find yourself not holding on to grudges, being more mindful and finding the peace you deserve. May you find the benefits of mindfulness in the workplace.

-Cheers to your success- Damaris

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8 Ways to Better Yourself

8 Ways to better yourself, there are a million ways you can better yourself! I have come across 8 tips that have helped me become a better and more productive person. Using these 8 simple tips continuously can help make your days a little easier.

1. Realize that you can never totally control the future: Take a moment and not only realize but accept this concept. We can only control ourselves in the moment.
2. Have a specific goal: Going on a trip with no destination makes the journey very difficult and complex. When we do not plan, we plan to fail. We must have a least one goal in mind to give you direction. In your journey, everything else that you need will reveal itself. Every journey starts with the first step in the right direction.
3. Really listen:  Most of us listen to think about what we are going to respond instead of listening to understand. When you listen to respond you do not take the time to think about what the other person is feeling or how they are being affected. You are quick to defend yourself, belief or thought. What a different conversation we could have if we just take the time to listen to understand the other person.
4. Try to be more present: With technology at the palm of our hands, it can be difficult to be present and in the moment. When spending time with family, friends, co-works or clients/patients act with intention. Be aware of yourself and those around you, notice your surrounding via your 5 senses live in the now.
5. Stop worrying so much: The more you worry, the less the problem will go away so focus on your solution and appreciate what you do have.
6. Stop multitasking: We think we can focus on several tasks and give them each 100% of our energy. We must give all of our energy to one project at a time and transition swiftly.
7. Accept vulnerability:  The most difficult thing to do in life, in my opinion, is to lean into the difficulty fo vulnerability. When you are hurting, offended, sad, happy… any emotion! Lean in, process it and experience it fully!
8. Don’t overanalyze everything: Just like worrying, over thinking and over analyzing things will not solve your problem. Focus your energy on something more productive!

-Cheers to your success- Damaris

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