Today I choose freedom, is what I told myself today, this afternoon after finding myself exhausted and drained from overthinking and replaying my mistakes in my head. I had made a comment to a friend and they were not in agreeance in what I stated, but also was highly offended. I made an unwanted attempt to apologize and clear the air. The rejection really hit home and my guilt, fear, pain and shame made a mess of my mind.
I thought of ways I could have reworded, responded, what could have gone right, what went wrong and what could go wrong in the future. I started creating scenarios in my mind and believing they had happened. This was a very unhealthy, exhausting and draining process that consumed all of me before I knew it. Then one day I decided I would not be controlled any longer, I am in control of my thoughts, they are NOT in control of me. How did I loose control? How and when did these thoughts consume me? More importantly, how do I get my life back?
In conversation with my siblings, we stumbled upon Brene Brown’s books on shame and vulnerability. This opened my mind to a brand new world, a world of freedom!!! Why was it freedom, because I learned the true success to freedom is to face your fears. Fears are your shame, guilt, insecurities etc. As Brene says, lean into the discomfort. When it is uncomfortable you are facing it, dealing with it and one day it will be a lesson learned and from that say I today I choose freedom.
Every time I invited myself to my own shame and pity party, I would lean into the horribly uncomfortable feeling. I would not victimize or shame myself, I would think of what truly is bothering me about the situation and pinpoint the problem. Now that you know what the real problem is you can start working on it. Healing and changing it.
Lean into the discomfort and say Today I Choose Freedom.
-Cheers to your success- Damaris
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